But she one day showed me a video of hers. It was called Brave and it instantly caught my attention when I saw the artist in a FABULOUS spotty shirt, trouser braces and dip dyed hair. I thought 'oh here makes a change from some pop star's breasts hanging out'
So I continued to watch...
I've had to be VERY brave these past few weeks. That word makes me sound like a 7 year old that's about to get an injection at the doctors- "you were a very brave girl" but I still stand by the fact that that saying is always very vital growing up.
Being 'brave' doesn't just end when you start changing shoe size and learning a few bad words. It doesn't just grow as you stop crying at a grazed knee (because if I ever get a grazed knee, I guarantee I WILL be weeping) no no that's not a reason to be brave.
You're taught as a tiny girl/boy that being brave is when you don't cry at mondane things. I don't agree with that. Not now. Crying isn't a sign of weakness. Being brave starts when you don't give in to peer pressure, when you get rejected by the cool girls and you carry on sitting in the same class as them. Being brave is when you face an adult who has no social etiquette and terrifies your well being so you find the right strategies to get you through the day.
You don't really get taught that much. Our government's more concerned about teaching young people some stupid, unnecessary triangle equation. Round of applause to our education system.
So when I took the very 'brave' decision to spend a year working, auditioning and learning about the real world, I had no idea that bravery was a VERY vital weapon to have in my pocket.
I have had some moments in these past 6 months where people have honestly made me feel like I was THE most inadequate being. I've had adults cause me to cry in church toilets, I've had people cause me feelings of anger that I've never quite felt in my tiny blood vessels. I've had such unjust situations take place that have caused my whole well-being to crumble. I've been in a work place where I felt so left out of a 'team' that I wanted to grab my coat and never look back.
So as an 18 year old girl, who has committed my life to following Christ and for some unknown reason wants to go into THE bitchiest, most unsympathetic & most judgemental industry, how do I cope with that?
I think in life there are two options- let it destroy you or let it motivate you. I pick the second option every time.
I shared my testimony to a group of wonderful young girls last Saturday. I felt God stopped me from looking at my notes and instead used the Holy Spirit as my prompter. I began telling them about how heart-shattering growing up in a group of girls can be, I watched them nod away as I continued my tales.
You know the one thing I felt God was physically forcing me to tell these girls? Can you guess? Courage. Standing out. Fearlessness.
So I played them this music video, the one in which my sister has been nagging me about for ages, and a roomful of smiles and tapping feet took place.
I don't need to tell you that life is a truly terrifying place to live in, but I wish more people told me. I'm so fed up with people having some power under their belt and using it to feed their pride or ego or deeper...their insecurities. I now understand the saying 'count your blessings'...that couldn't be more vital. School is just the very first part of the journey, the real challenge takes place once you step out your bedroom and take on responsibilities.
I think I sit here with the haunting knowledge that life, unfortunately, doesn't get much easier than this. Bravery is something you earn, but a humble heart has to trail alongside it.
So dear friends, I continue on my quest to find true courage, wherever that may be or whatever it may feel like. But I'll start by holding my head a little higher and continuing to find the right moment, and the right outfit, and the right mindset to maybe, just maybe, be a little braver.
MUSIC VIDEO ALERT....
What a wonderfully brave story. You're an inspiration x
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