One Year Anniversary

It's been a year since I started writing this blog.

I remember sitting on my bed feeling like I had so many emotions sitting on my shoulders, weighing down my well-being and with nothing to do about it. So I prayed, stumbled across a blogging site and began typing. 

I've typed ever since.

On a train, at 2am, sitting in a cafe, in an audition waiting room, everywhere. 

You know 90% of what I type are the things I can never truly articulate in person. The amount of unwritten letters I have piling up my 'drafts' for the people that I'm too afraid to speak to face to face. The things I'm so desperate to say but can never find the words or the courage. So I type, I create these words that somehow become a story, a theme or a long note, and suddenly I feel a little better. 

I think if my blogging has taught me anything it's that firstly, it takes A LOT of time, but truly it has taught me about the beauty of having a voice, having some sort of say in society. 

For me, you can look at social networking I'm two ways- evil or good. I pick the second option every time. The thought of anyone reading a blog post of mine is a magical feeling. I can press 'publish' and never know who it's going to be read by. 

Whether I anger people with my beliefs, inspire, cause humour, it doesn't phase me... It builds me and moulds me. 

It fascinates me that we live in a world where feelings are so bottled up and locked away, almost like they are the demon to our livelihood. Someone said to me recently that they enjoy 'keeping their feelings secret' which is fine, but I argue that protecting your emotions is like putting a barrier up to protect your pride and your vulnerability. Sometimes it's vital, other times it's a burden. 

There's so much 'hard to get' churning up our romance and spitting it out. It saddens me that being spontaneous is seen as a weakness, that honesty is laughed at. What ever happened to the old fashioned days where dates and letters were so valued?! I feel like I'm a young women in a society where my feelings count for nothing. 

Why can't love be the WEAPON?! Why does our world decide that evil and pride are the forces that have control? We are so mistaken with the concept of love. It's so powerful. SO powerful. 

There's such a beauty in words. Look at songwriting, for example. Music is the hope and motivation for our society. Through every genre, every artist and every topic, people are inspired and moved by what they hear. The music industry is filling up and exploding due to its massive popularity. 

People constantly echo this saying- "I never told them how I felt about them" so they live in the constant regret of choosing pride before emotion. I recently wrote some cards to people, telling them everything I feel about them, in the hope that they'd forever remember what I said. 

But maybe it's about time I put down the laptop and start using my vocal chords to express my feelings. It's a struggle for me to move away from the 'letter in a bottle' effect that I live by. 

Jesus never EVER had a problem with words. His words are what changed the course of history. He brought this love into the world and made it into the most powerful force. He didn't hide behind, He stood BY it. 

If I can challenge just one person through my blog, I'd challenge you to start wearing your heart on your sleeve and start living the life the way it deserves to be lived- through belief, hope and having a voice. 

Thank you to the people who actually have an interest in the words that I type and the beliefs that I feel. It's been an emotional year, but a year that I cherish and delight in.