Always trusts, always hopes...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I couldn't understand why this bible verse has just been circling my mind these past few weeks. Of all the bible verses I read and hear and adore- this one has somehow been imprinted on my heart. So every time something happens that I find irritating or unjust, every time I feel doubt or fear or anger, that verse just echoes through my heart, my soul and my conscience.

Love is patient...

I've now started to do this thing where I annotate every little part about myself in the hope that there are things I'm yet to discover about myself now that I'm growing and maturing. So my very recent discovery is that I'm not a very patient person. People have always said to me 'time is a healer' and I thought 'well time takes too long' 

I hate the concept of waiting my turn. I hate the fact that things take so long to process and adapt and grow. But the worst thing is the fact that I have a whole year to be patient when gaining experience, trying earning enough money and travelling far and wide all around the UK in the hope that someone, anyone, sees just a little glimmer of potential in my eyes and offers me a place at drama school.

The history of our world has revolved around patience. I seem to forget that God presents a lot of patience for me...

So whenever I begin to lose any sense of perseverance suddenly the line- love is patient is just spelled out in my mind...and I stop. I stop everything I feel and try and show just a little bit of patience. For just a small second, I try.

Love always hopes...

Now something very wonderful happened to me last week in which I was put in a very pressured situation. I felt so lost and unsure. So as I do, I panicked. And suddenly that bible verse came into my head- love always trusts, always hopes. So I closed my eyes and prayed. 'Lord, please protect me in this situation. your kingdom come in this place' I open my eyes and within seconds a woman appears with this massive, gentle smile on her face. She just points out the thing I was looking for, helps me to resolve the problem and says the words 'don't worry, never worry, you're doing great.' And as she walks away she turns and says to me 'just believe in yourself'...Where did she come from?! What a wonderful wonderful moment in my journey as a Christian. I believe with all my heart that that was not a coincidence. I believe with all my heart that maybe, just maybe that was God speaking through her. It wasn't anything massive but in my mind it was the most clear and perfect moment. 

This week I got to witness God's wonders in so many odd ways. Right now I feel like I've been thrown in to the deep end with my gap year just around the corner and what feels like a million responsibilities for a girl that barely knows who she wants to be. Maybe this bible verse was given to me by God to save me from difficult situations. Maybe it was yet another miracle he has planted in to my week. I just don't know.

But what I do know is that God will always work little miracles in my life. Ones that save my life and ones that save others lives. I pray that I always go back to these bible verses and stories that I've witnessed when my life feels so intense.

As for now, I'm going to be patient, kind, trusting, slow to anger and most importantly- hopeful. That's all I can ever wish to be.