I did my usual walk up to DAPA (my performing arts college) and today I decided to just admire and take in the beauty of where I was because in a weeks time that will all be gone. It's so easy to take our countryside for granted and today I was able to reflect on it's beauty. I listened to my Christian music and I just prayed. I prayed about everything. Most importantly, I just praised him. It's so easy for me to get lost in everything else and expect so much from him and never stop and just say 'thank you'.
I noticed today how everything God makes has such a purpose. A wonderful purpose.
This past week hasn't been the easiest of weeks and right now I want to turn off everything in my life, through some sort of switch and just breathe.
Do you ever feel like you're drowning in life's problems? Today was one of those days...but I stand by the fact that God is just so wonderful and powerful because his love just always manages to find me. There's a lyric in a song I love that says 'your love is amazing God, so high so strong, it reaches even me' that last bit just really speaks out to me because I just ask myself 'how can something so powerful and holy be able to reach my heart so deeply?'
I almost feel like I've come out of the 'honeymoon stage' that a lot of new Christians get after their baptism. I went from feeling like everything is so marvellous and Godly to suddenly losing my naivity and realising that actually being a Christian is really hard. It's not easy at all. But what I don't fail to lose is this overpowering sense of passion and hope that lights up my heart everytime I hear a worship song or see a bible verse. I hope I never lose that because the one thing that eases my anxiety and fear and stress is just that trust in Jesus.
I'm currently sat making tiny, girly pieces of card for my lovely discipleship girls because this week I want to do a lesson with them on 'self esteem'. I'm wanting the girls to write 2 things they like about each other to help with their self confidence. I then want to play them a very wonderful song that has just lifted me through my insecurities called Beautiful by Bethany Dillon.
I guess the one thing that gets me through my pain and stress at the moment is the thought that I'm potentially inspiring other girls younger than myself. I guess that's where this links in to the concept of God giving everything a purpose. My purpose is to be a disciple of Jesus, a young girl who can just be an example to maybe just one young person. Whether that's in my drama club or my discipleship group or even the girls I perform with.
Sometimes the greatest feeling is the thought that God still shines his light in me through all the things I do.
And I say this because when I've most needed advice recently I can just see his words and love just pouring out of the people I confined in.
To help me with my faith I've started a 'prayer journal' just so I can see where God has really changed my life through each situation I face.
God is so good and I always just remind myself of that through watching this incredible moment in my life on the 3/3/2013. I may have started to become slightly lazy or doubtful with my faith but i'll always think back to this powerful moment. My baptism-
